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Serious Skills.

Thinking Ride

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, so on Sunday I decided to take the mountain bike out for some gravel road exploring in the Holly Springs National Forest. It’s easy to think when you’re in the middle of nowhere specific and the mind is free to drift with the currents of contemplation. As I rode along with only the sound of crunching gravel under my tires and the occasional slap of the chain moving between cogs, I began sorting through all the emotions and options racing through my mind.

1. I’m not thrilled with the prospect of teaching in the public school system given all the emphasis on standardized tests and the general state of schools today. While I love the idea of teaching and opening up young minds to learning, I do not want to get into the political power struggle that now envelops public education. It’s become too easy to blame the teacher for everything, and I’d rather not have my career hanging on some standardized test score. I could offer my own solutions to the problem, but that’s another post altogether.

2. I can’t help but feel that I don’t fit into the general political/social climate of the Deep South. I’m way too socially liberal compared to the populace and the things I enjoy doing most (biking, hiking, learning about different cultures, nature, and watching documentary films) seem to be uncommon pastimes here.

3. I could always go back to school and complete my Ph.D. to teach at the university level. The only negative I see here is the “publish or perish” mentality at so many colleges. I’d rather teach and let others toy with theory. Taking the adjunct route would likely involve a serious pay cut.

4. I need a best friend. It’s not easy being single in a small college town and an introvert on top of that. I need to make an effort to put myself out here more often. Take a chance needs to be my new mantra. This is going to take some effort on my part.

5. I could always go back to advertising, but I left that cut-throat world long ago and really have no interest in ever seeing it again.

6. I can stay the course, ride out the storm, and hope for better sailing ahead.

When you are in deep thought, it’s easy to get lost inside yourself and actually get yourself lost for real. Somewhere between sorting out the things in my head and trying to navigate poorly marked Forest Service roads, I missed a turn and kept pedaling north. I knew I was headed in the wrong direction when I saw the highway 30 radio tower in the distance and the sun was to my left rather than my right.

That’s when it happened.

I looked down from the tower to see a small group of zebras in a pasture running away as if being pursed by a pride of lions. “There are no zebra in Mississippi”, I thought to myself. I stopped along the side of the road and immediately reached for my camera. I just stood there on the side of the road looking at these magnificent animals and completely forgot about everything. The world just stopped and so did my worries, if only for a moment.

As seen in Bicycling Magazine

I found another photo I thought was lost forever. This one appeared in Bicycling Magazine in either 2002 or 2003 if I remember correctly. I'm forth from the right in the orange jersey.

Something has to give.

Maybe it’s a midlife crisis, a mild form of depression, or just plain ole boredom, but I need to change my environment. Something has to give. I’m burning out at my job, and I’m sick of the oppressively conservative political/social climate here in Mississippi. I’m not talking so much about the republican kind of conservatism but more the afraid to think out of the box and move forward brand. I need an adventure, and I’ve been thinking about moving out of the country to pursue a teaching position someplace vastly different from where I stand now. Since I only speak English, I’m limited to a handful of countries: Canada, England, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand are the natural front runners. I’ve never been to any of these places and really don’t know where to begin on immigration, so maybe the odds are against me. What I do have in my favor, I suppose, is that I’m not married and don’t have to worry about dragging a family half way across the globe on some hair brained pilgrimage that could very well end tragically if it actually happens at all. Maybe I’m just frustrated and need to vent since I’ve been down this path before. I can recall wanting to move to Vancouver in the not so distant past for the very same reasons I want to pack up and go right now. That obviously didn’t happen, but I feel more … I don’t know – frustrated …bored … lonely – than I can ever recall feeling before, so something has to give.

What’s actually involved in immigrating to a new country anyway? I’m sure it’s a long and drawn-out process with all sorts of legal hoops to jump through and mounds of paperwork. The uncertainty of it all is what makes it such a frightening prospect to consider. Still, starting over someplace new and reinventing yourself is more than appealing to me.



(Edit) Okay, I'm feeling better now that I vented, but I'm still burned out with my job.

I hate when I forget the camera

I did my first group ride since moving into the new house and managed to forget my camera. I'm mad at myself because the group stopped along the way to tour the North Mississippi Fish Hatchery. It was really interesting. I never knew Koi are used as feeder fish. Anyway, I managed to get 80.67 miles at a brisk pace and a pretty good tan line on my legs.

It's not going to happen

I had planned on upgrading my component group to a Sram XX 2x10, but it's starting to look bleak at the moment. The plan-B option of even going to the new Shimano XTR 2x10 is on hold. It's not that my current parts are lame or even all that worn out. I run a mix of 9-speed XTR and Sram XO. It works well for me, but I want to shave a little more weight off the bike and run something better for race season. However, the economy is still in the tank and the employment numbers continue to drag everything else down, so I'll hold off on the upgrade and just stuff money in the bank in case things get even worse.